Imagine moving through life feeling different but unable to explain why. You may have struggled to fit in socially, manage sensory overload, or maintain emotional balance. These challenges can seep into everyday life, making relationships, work, or self-acceptance feel like uphill battles. You’ve likely adapted, sometimes at a cost—masking your true self, feeling drained, or battling a sense of invisibility. What if there’s a reason behind all of this? Could understanding your neurodivergence be the key to unlocking a more authentic and empowered life? But even thinking about pursuing an autism diagnosis feels overwhelming. Where would you even start?
This post draws on trusted resources and personal experience to guide you step by step. You’ll learn how to take the initiative in approaching the diagnostic procedure, process the resulting emotional impact, and then positively embrace what it means to be an autistic adult. These insights are grounded in my own experiences of getting a diagnosis later in life. This is practical advice that will help you feel prepared to take the first step.
Reaching out for an autism assessment can feel intimidating, but remember, every great journey starts with a single, small step. Begin by writing down your experiences—what challenges you have faced and how you’ve managed. Then, research organisations both local and national that understand adult autism. Finally, consider asking a trusted friend to join you in this process. Small actions add up, and soon the path to understanding yourself will start to feel more manageable.
Step 1. Recognising the Signs of Autism as an Adult: When to Seek Help
Deciding whether to pursue an autism diagnosis is an emotional decision as much as it is a logical one. Your mind might make you hesitate with questions such as: Are my experiences “valid” enough? Might there be a stigma attached to having such a diagnosis? Who do I contact anyway?
I went through all of these, but deep down, I found a growing feeling that I just had to know if what I suspected was right. The first step is researching autistic traits and reflecting on your behaviour and your life. Which traits resonate with you? Can you identify them in your behaviour? Can you see them throughout your life? You might want to find people you trust that you can talk to about this—people you think will listen and take you seriously.
This could involve finding relevant groups or contacting specific organisations. It’s important to realise that you are not alone. There is a growing number of adults receiving autism diagnoses later in life, and many hesitate for years before taking that step—I did. Reframing the diagnosis to yourself as an exploratory journey rather than a label that will define you can help take away a lot of the pressure. This is a process about finding clarity and self-understanding
Step 2: Navigating the Adult Autism Diagnosis Process: What to Expect and How to Prepare
Asking for a diagnostic assessment can feel daunting. When I went to my doctor, I took my notes with me and someone to support me. You may need to be assertive and then have a long wait for a referral, so you may consider going private. In the actual assessment, you’ll need to navigate possibly a couple of sessions of in-depth questions about your childhood, your current traits, and your sensory experiences.
In addition to your reflections on your traits, you will need to gather as many details from your past as you can. If one or both of your parents are alive, you may want to talk to them. Old school reports might help too. When you are discussing your autism with your assessor, don’t be afraid to take the initiative—ask for clarification or volunteer extra information. It all helps.
Don’t lose sight of the reason you’ve asked for this in the first place. You want to uncover the truth about your neurodivergence. If your doctor is dismissive about your referral, then try again. If at any point you are concerned that your assessor lacks information about late diagnoses in adults, then you may want to choose a different one who is more experienced in this—perhaps even by paying privately.
Step 3: Coping with the Emotional Impact of a Late Autism Diagnosis
Be prepared for the outcome of the assessment to be a complex emotional experience, whether it confirms you’re autistic or not. It can produce some unexpected emotions: waves of relief, grief, or even confusion. The moment you are told the result is actually reframing the whole of your past life.
Your whole identity may be about to change, so don’t be surprised if you behave in some unexpected ways. It takes time to process an autism diagnosis—my initial reaction was very different from how I feel about it now. You may want to journal your thoughts, read even more about autism, watch YouTube videos, or get books to help you make sense of your life. You may want to find discussion groups for late-diagnosed adults, either locally or online, to give you additional insights.
This is a pivotal moment of self-discovery, even if it may initially feel devastating. Acknowledge the feelings of shock or the loss of who you thought you were—these are valid reactions, but they are not the end of the story. This is the beginning of a new journey into understanding yourself more fully, which, if you can embrace it, I believe can be one of the most empowering experiences of your life.
Step 4. Identifying Strengths and Needs After an Autism Diagnosis
This newfound identity can feel both freeing and overwhelming at the same time. After the initial shock, I found myself picking up the pieces and feeling unsure of where to start. But as I delved into understanding the implications of autism, particularly as I looked at resources with a positive, strength-based approach, I found myself excited about the possibilities. So how can you begin to approach this journey?
This step involves you working on your personal audit. As you learn more about your strengths, where do you feel you are already using them? Where are they helping your relationships, work, or other activities? The flip side of this is to look at where your challenges make you feel most drained and what adjustments might improve your daily life. For instance, would noise-canceling earphones help you concentrate?
Don’t just focus on the negative. It’s not just about solving problems and learning how to accommodate your autism, although that is important. It is also about celebrating what’s unique about you and how your autistic strengths make you who you are. As you understand more about yourself, you can create a life that fits you rather than forcing yourself to be like others and fit into their mould.
Step 5. Self-Advocacy and Support: Building Your Network as a Late-Diagnosed Autistic Adult
Being newly diagnosed can be a lonely place. You may want to explain your new revelations to others—friends, colleagues, family members—but when you do, it can make you vulnerable. There is still so much misunderstanding around autism that you may fear they will think less of you because of it.
You may want to work on a few phrases you can use to explain your autism diagnosis, ones that feel authentic to you. You might say, “I’ve learned I’m autistic, which helps explain why I’m so…” finishing the sentence with a trait you are well known for—perhaps “focused” or “direct.”
As you tell others, misunderstandings will happen, and you’ll need loads of self-compassion. But with time, you will be able to express your needs and find others who do understand, respect, and support you—both people you already know and perhaps new contacts through autism events or groups locally and/or online.
This step culminated in me feeling empowered as I began to get to know myself more deeply, eventually being able to express myself more authentically. As I did this, I began to build a network around me of supportive people who helped me to thrive. As you begin to express yourself in this way, you too can find such people.
Your diagnosis is just the beginning of an ongoing journey. As you learn something new about yourself, keep thinking about how you can integrate that into your daily life. Maybe you will begin by speaking more openly with loved ones, talking to the appropriate people at work and requesting accommodations, or connecting with others who share similar experiences. These steps will anchor your new understanding in your everyday routines.
Over time, this journey transforms your relationship with yourself and the world. The clarity from your diagnosis enables you to live authentically and unapologetically. By embracing your strengths and advocating for your needs, you become a more confident and fulfilled version of yourself. As you continue with your life, this journey will have a profound impact. You will have gained new insight and new tools to navigate the challenges of your life. They will also help you to discover and celebrate the unique path that is yours alone.