You may have been working at understanding what it means to be autistic, finding and expressing your true self. But suddenly, something unexpected happens. It might be a benefit cut, a big misunderstanding at work, or you have a meltdown at the shops. You’ve given your all and just when you think you’re winning, you feel betrayed, tempted to give up and slip back into negativity.
In this post, I’ll outline three hypothetical accounts of autistic adults facing moments of rejection or injustice. The big answers lie in advocacy and change, but these stories will show how small daily practices can help people manage their emotions, reconnect with themselves and slowly heal from painful experiences.
Though these stories are fictional and the pictures are stock photos, they represent typical situations for many autistic adults. You may not be able to fix the system but you can like these people begin to work on yourself, with these gentle practices, to bring a sense of wholeness.
Mindfulness When the System Shakes Your Sense of Security
It had been such a relief when Rachel won her PIP appeal. Finally, she felt that her needs were acknowledged. It was such a knock-back when her claim was initially rejected. People reassured her that people often get refused the first time and that she’d have a good chance of winning the appeal. Now, news of upcoming benefit cuts has reawakened that anxiety. Can she cope with the stress of another PIP reassessment? She’s scared she’ll end up with nothing.
Rachel initially thought mindfulness practice was a bit silly and would be hard to learn in her 40s. But now it’s become a lifeline. Each morning, she sits quietly and does her simple breathing exercise and then a 10-minute body scan. She’s aware of her racing heart and her tense muscles. Recently, her thoughts have been spiralling out of control, but she gently acknowledges this, presses on with her practice and feels more relaxed by the end.
This hasn’t stopped her from being upset at the news of benefit cuts, but it has helped her observe her reactions without being overcome. She recognises the knot in her stomach, her feelings of helplessness and the protests in her mind that say, “But I’ve done nothing wrong”. Her situation remains uncertain, but she feels more centred. She can more easily catch herself when she slips into worry mode bringing herself back to a place of calmness.
Reflective Journalling When Misunderstood at Work
Marcus was shocked when told by his manager that a formal complaint had been made against him. He knows that as an autistic adult, he can come over as blunt. He concludes that a comment he’d recently made had been misread as an insult. Despite a reassuring meeting with his union rep, who specialises in inclusion and diversity, he feels overwhelmed by fear. “I was being honest.” he writes in his journal and, after some thought, adds, “I’m mortified.”
From that entry, Marcus started journalling every night, something he hadn’t done for years. At first, he poured out his anger at being complained about. But as the days continued, he became more reflective about his day – incidents when he felt vulnerable and when he felt triggered. He began to reflect on how these related to past experiences and how they related to his autistic traits. He wrote about his “masking” and how it exhausted him.
As Marcus continued to journal, he began to work out how he felt about situations. He was constantly anxious about his impending disciplinary hearing, but this process helped him understand what had happened with this and other misunderstandings. So often, he’d come over in ways that didn’t reflect his true heart. After being hard on himself for some time, he realised he could forgive himself. “I’ve often felt disoriented”, he wrote “but now I’m beginning to understand myself”.
Mantra Meditation After a Public Meltdown
Ava was stopped by security at her local supermarket. They thought she was shoplifting, but she wasn’t. Ava, who is still coming to terms with her recent autism diagnosis, was overwhelmed by the confrontation and had an argument with them that she now understands was an autistic meltdown. Her intense searching back and forth for the exact items on her list was interpreted as suspicious behaviour. She’s now nervous about shopping and always needs someone to accompany her.
She attended an autism workshop online where someone recommended mantra meditation, and she decided to try it. She picked the phrase, I am safe – I belong, because she hasn’t felt like that since the incident. “It’s aspirational”, she explains. She now meditates every morning, sitting silently, repeating that phrase in her head. Initially, she felt like she was just going through the motions but eventually, she felt it was soothing and even though nothing had changed she felt calmer.
Ava can get around the shops with a friend and has even returned to the same supermarket where she had the meltdown. It was embarrassing the first time, but now she’s getting used to it and feels more relaxed. Ava often silently repeats her mantra to herself in the supermarket and when decompressing afterwards. She says the meditation has helped her to overcome her fear and slowly rebuild her confidence. She now wants to try a solo shopping trip.
From Overwhelm to Wholeness: Returning to Your True Self
Perhaps you’re not experiencing disciplinary action or the fallout from a meltdown, but it’s likely that you’ve had some setbacks. It’s still worth you taking up one of the practices outlined above. Pick one you think you can manage and allow it be a way of finding the real you. There are still injustices, and we need to work for more training to help promote a greater understanding of autism, for example. But when such injustices affect you, these practices can help you respond in a more grounded and resilient manner, enabling you to live your most authentic life.
Related Posts:
Mindfulness vs. Mantra Meditation for Autistic Adults: Finding Your Path to Inner Calm
Reflective Journalling for Autistic Adults: A Path to Self-Discovery and Transformation
Unlocking Autistic Potential in Professional and Community Settings