Many late-diagnosed autistic adults struggle with feelings of victimisation stemming from years of misunderstandings and marginalisation. These experiences can take a significant toll on their emotional well-being. It’s crucial to address the emotional wounds caused by others, as this is essential for personal growth and healing. Confronting these deep-seated issues can be daunting, leading some individuals to avoid or deny their impact, which only perpetuates the problems.
In this post, I will explore the origins of these feelings of victimisation, including how co-occurring conditions may amplify this experience. In addition, I will provide some supportive strategies for healing these emotional wounds and thriving beyond them through advocacy for both personal and communal needs to create social change.
By understanding the roots of these emotions and acknowledging their effects, individuals can then begin to recognise harmful coping mechanisms. This awareness can initiate a transformative journey towards self-acceptance and emotional well-being. You will discover that this journey can empower you to enact change, preventing others from experiencing similar challenges.
Recognising Harmful Coping Mechanisms in Autistic Adults
Feelings of victimisation in late-diagnosed autistic individuals often arise from internalising negative responses they have encountered throughout their lives. These responses may result from deliberate abuse, as well as social misunderstandings that are common due to society’s lack of understanding of autism.
This post will focus on the emotional wounds of victimisation stemming from the mishandling of issues by individuals and organisations due to their unfamiliarity with neurodiversity. Issues of deliberate abuse fall outside the scope of this article. If you have experienced abuse, you might want to consider exploring organisations like Lotus Collaborations.
These feelings of victimisation can lead to harmful coping mechanisms, including:
Unrealistic Self-Perceptions: Some individuals may have distorted self-perceptions, either underestimating or overestimating their abilities. Issues of self-esteem and egotism can create challenges in both personal and professional settings.
Addictive Behaviours: To cope with stress or sensory overload, autistic adults who’ve experienced victimisation might use harmful behaviours, such as substance abuse or self-harm and need specialist help.
Challenging Behaviours: Previous experiences of victimisation—particularly from childhood—can result in trauma that may be triggered by criticism, leading to behaviours that are perceived as oppositional, further alienating you from those around you.
Masking and Camouflaging: Masking involves projecting a happy, competent image while suppressing your authentic behaviours. Camouflaging is about constantly trying to fit in. Both are very common but can lead to burnout and identity confusion.
From my experience, the path to emotional healing involves recognising these patterns with loads of self-compassion before attempting to replace them with healthier strategies.
Impact of Co-Occurring Conditions on Feelings of Victimisation
Mental Health Challenges: Anxiety, depression, and other mental health disorders are common among autistic individuals. These challenges can complicate receiving an autism diagnosis, as many symptoms may already be attributed to other conditions. Additionally, these mental health issues can intensify feelings of isolation and lead to further misunderstandings or vulnerability.
Physical Health Issues: Chronic pain, fatigue, gastrointestinal problems, and sleep disturbances are also more prevalent among autistic individuals. Heightened sensitivities can increase suffering, further impacting overall well-being and adding to your sense of insecurity. The disabling effects of these physical health issues can lead to further misunderstanding, heightening your vulnerability to victimisation.
Epilepsy: Many autistic individuals also experience epilepsy, including some late-diagnosed adults, making it worth highlighting this condition separately. Despite seizures often being controlled by medication, epilepsy can incur social stigma due to public misconceptions. In some autistic individuals, epilepsy can lead to strong feelings of helplessness, compounding fears of victimisation.
Understanding the Interplay: The intersectionality of these co-occurring conditions can lead to increased misunderstandings, and individuals or organisations may not always be aware or inclusive of these complexities. Together, especially if someone experiences multiple diagnoses, they exacerbate vulnerability, experiences and fears of victimisation for many autistic adults.
Healing and Empowerment: Strategies for Overcoming Victimisation
Acknowledgement and Self-Compassion: Accepting past traumas and their impact is essential for healing and developing authentic relationships. Validation can have lasting positive effects. Your healing journey can then involve small, slow steps of practising self-compassion and self-care – perhaps involving mindfulness or meditation and reflective journalling, which can help build resilience.
Building Supportive Networks: Connecting with other late-diagnosed autistic adults provides mutual understanding and support. Sharing your experiences can help you acknowledge your limitations while leveraging your strengths to assist others. Extending your network by informing friends, family, and colleagues about autism promotes empathy and reduces misconceptions. Educating allies is an initial step towards creating systemic change.
Advocacy and Systemic Change: Setting boundaries and asserting your needs in various environments empowers you and produces a sense of agency. Working together can amplify these efforts towards organisational change, challenging systemic barriers that have historically led to misunderstandings about autistic individuals and unsafe environments. Giving back in this way honours those who have supported you, though it requires careful listening and can be frustrating. Nonetheless, reducing these barriers is a mutually beneficial endeavour, as autistic people have much to contribute to society.
Embracing Authenticity: Recognising that I had internalised false judgments about myself was a key to improving my self-understanding and promoting self-acceptance. Realising that your intentions are fundamentally positive can help you to feel more whole and, where appropriate find safe environments to gradually unmask. This process enables genuine self-expression and produces a positive social influence that strengthens your self-worth.
The way forward
Implementing these strategies can empower late-diagnosed autistic adults to transform feelings of victimisation into empowerment. By relating to others as equals, rather than unconsciously presenting as victims, individuals can lead more fulfilling lives.
By embracing your authentic self and addressing co-occurring challenges, you can navigate the world more confidently. This journey not only enhances your well-being but also promotes greater understanding and acceptance of autism within your social circles.
If you are affected by any issues discussed here, please consult appropriate healthcare professionals or counsellors for support. This post is for informational purposes only and does not replace professional medical advice.
Related resource: Lotus Collaborations